We humans are just ridiculous

I've always said I need to write a book with all the stupid complaints I've recieved over my career in customer service.
These are pretty awesome

http://www.justtheflight.co.uk/blog/12-the-18-most-ridiculous-travel-complaints.html

The 18 Most Ridiculous Travel Complaints

When you spend a month’s pay on a holiday, you’re going to want to get your dream trip for it, and when things go wrong, it can be devastating. However, some people have some unbelievable expectations when they leave the country, as if they hadn’t quite realised, they were leaving the country, or that the world doesn’t revolve around them...
Here are 18 of the frankly most bananas complaints that Just The Flight have seen over the years -

1. “We went to a Mexican restaurant in Rome and the waiter was Italian. You assured us Italy was the best place for an authentic food experience.”
What did you order, the ‘Burrito Carbonara’?

2. “Our flight left Heathrow at 07:55, and they told us the flight was 2 hours. But when we landed it was 10:55, making us miss our connection. The pilot didn’t even tell us we were delayed.”
So, you’re aware that there are actually different time zones across the world, right?

3. After being told she could reach the front desk by dialling 9, a lady complained when she was repeatedly unable to do so from her mobile.
Maybe just dial 999 and ask for an ambulance. Say that you need a brain examination urgently.

4. “My husband got carsick on the boat”
Yeah, the clue is in the name. She’ll get it. I hope.

5. “We could not enjoy the tour as our guide was too ugly. You can’t be expected to admire a beautiful view when you’re staring at a face like his.”
Presumably the tour you were on was of the local sites and landmarks, rather than a tour of the tour guide’s face? Just checking.

6. “There was no sign telling you that you shouldn’t get on the hot air balloon ride if you’re afraid of heights.”
FYI, hot AIR balloons go up in the AIR.

7. A man sent a complaint to Disneyworld claiming that it was “too touristy”.
Yeah, I had the same experience when visiting Times Square and the Eiffel Tower, how odd. Something should really be done about that.

8. “The street signs weren’t in English. I don’t understand how anyone can get around.”
Here’s a clue: they don’t speak English.

9. “The beach had too many fat people. It was gross.”
Hmm yeah, couldn’t agree more. They should be caged up and taken to their own separate fat beach. That’ll teach them.

10. “We booked the honeymoon suite, and in the WC there were 2 toilets side by side. With no walls separating them! There is nothing at all romantic about that.”
Um, yeah, that's because one of them was a bidet.

11. “The animals at the zoo looked very sad and it made our children cry. Can’t they train them to smile?”
I’m sure the animals can be trained to feast on pretentious and demanding zoo visitors, how about that for a compromise?

12. “You told us that there was a rooftop pool, but above us was just another room.”
Do we really need to explain how roofs work? Like, that there’s only one roof and it’s (usually) at the very top of the building?

13. A man claimed that he was no longer able to perform sexually after a chambermaid walked in on he and his wife making love and “giggled at his size” while leaving the room.
Sounds like you have bigger problems (pun very much intended) than a chambermaid catching a glimpse of your little solider (again, intended).

14. “The local women were too beautiful; it made me feel bad about myself.”
Good, you should feel bad about that. In fact, just stay in. Don’t go on holiday anymore, because your level of beauty is clearly not sufficient, sorry.

15. “You said the town was next to a volcano, but we went and there was no lava. I’m pretty sure it was just a mountain.”
Why would you complain about that? Would you prefer liquid molten lava to be pouring through your holiday resort, engulfing everything it touches?

16. “I packed for a mountaineering holiday, and couldn’t believe no one told me that there wouldn’t be snow. I had to go out and buy new clothes.”
We recommend looking at real pictures of mountains – not ones drawn by kids with snow-capped peaks.

17. One hotel received a complaint about their advertised ‘homey feel’: it was apparently nothing at all like the guest’s home.
Yeah, a hotel with a ‘homey feel’ is still a hotel, isn’t it. Note the world ‘feel’.

18. “I spent a whole week on safari, and didn’t see any good animals. There was only a load of antelopes.”
How dare you refer to an antelope as anything but a ‘good’ animal. I’ll have you know that antelopes are the goodest animals ever. In the world.

We aren’t sure what some of these people expect from holidays – but we’re glad they aren’t in the villa next door! What are the worst things you’ve heard abroad – or the worst complaint you’ve had to make? Leave a comment below!