Yesterday I awoke to rain and gloominess.
As I reached for the coffee, Poet Leah was suddenly speaking at me through that miraculous phone thingy about headaches and music festival and Little Pitt bull will pick you up in an hour............it was all very hazy but the words "sure" came forth from my lips without thought.
After hanging up the phone thingy and taking a few "hits" of the magical black elixir, I realized that I had indeed agreed to go to the Midtown Music festival in the pouring rain.
Oh fu*k, really.
For some stupid reason I hit the shower, dried my hair and put on a modest amount of make-up.
Yes,
I know,
It was stupid, I should have just left the deodorant off, slapped my hair up and put last nights jeans back on but Mama always said "never leave the house without lipstick or mascara". Old habits are hard to break.
Of course both the lipstick and mascara were gone before we hit the gate and every stitch of clothing was soaked through.
Really happy I rethought the white t-shirt.
Sometimes the brown roots show through ;)
So as we entered the gates of the festival some newbie band I have never heard of was playing. It was good, put with a day of freezing rain ahead of us I opted to get some festival food before pouring copious amounts of Bourbon down my throat.
I settled on brisket over mac and cheese......seriously, amazing, even watered down. That was some good festival grub right there.
As we meandered to the first stage I realized this was gonna be a rough day.
But I am nothing if not a trooper, the little pitbull and I decided supplies must be obtained.
We had an umbrella and a tarp but I was in desperate need of a hat and booze.
Hit the Jack Daniels tent just in time to stumble upon some young whipper snappers who had obviously begun their extra curricular activities a little too early.
Ladies, I don't normally encourage this, but the Stiffler's Mom fantasy is a very powerful tool when dealing with young, impressionable men. It may be unscrupulous but I needed to procure supplies for my survival. When it comes to dealing with the elements all forms of manipula.....I mean strategy, must be used.
...........................................................
.................................
Well that was easy...........
Ok, booze down, off to find hat.
Little Pitt Bull suggested the vendor tents.......phhht, I'm not buying a hat.
This is NOT my first rodeo, I still have great tits and I am now soaking wet.
I will NOT be buying a hat, thank you.
We stumbled through the mud and muck to the upper stage where a siren by the name of ZZ Ward was crooning away.
Lovely, and lets face it, a little more my speed.
And then I saw my hat coming towards me.
He had also begun his extra curricular activities too early.
These kids today, you have pace your self's babies.
You cannot end up puking in the first aid tent before the headliner, it's just bad form.
So my hat stumbled toward me and I smiled my best "come hither" smile.
He slid down next to us on the tarp.
"I need your hat"
When you are steeling from someone, do not beat around the bush, it's just tacky.
He immediately took off his hat and placed it upon my head.
Now of course I did the obligatory, lets chat and get to know each other BS much to Little Pitbulls disgust.
She did not want to deal with this drunken buffoon but I needed a hat so...................
When he decided to stumble off for another beer, Little Pitbull and I wrapped up the tarp and moved 100 yards down the road.
I smuggly turned to Little Pit bull, "HAT!" :)
We could now properly settle in for the muddy, cold, rainy show.
I know what you are thinking but no, it was fun, it was really fun.
There were mud people and crazy half naked drunk bitches. I saw some drunk guy bite it right on the face, like fell on his face, no hands at all. It was beautiful, but my favorite was the prissy girl.
She was irritated, but her BF handled it like a man............who is not gonna get laid tonight
Prissy Girl: "well I'm cold and wet"
Dude not seeing boobs anytime soon "Well so are the other 39,000 people here but they're not bitching at me"
HILARIOUS!!!
Now Little Pit bull ran out of gas right after Artic Dragons or Imagine Monkeys or some shit. (I can't keep up with what the kids are listening to these days)
Unfortunatly I was just catching my second wind but that's ok, cause now I had two tickets and I live really close.
The Spiritual Guide decided to remain glued to his couch (lame).
I reluctantly decided to allow newbie to meet this side of my personality.
A little early I know but what are you going to do.
Ran back to the condo to scrap off one layer of muck (there were about four)
and squeeze into the "asstastick" jeans.
I realize I look like hell, I gotta give the man something.
 |
| No, my camera is not that crappy, everything is just that wet |
But you see he didn't realize the "ancient one" had already been awakened.
Stay with me, cause yes, it's happened to you.
The beautiful thing about music is it's ability to unite. It's ancient, that beat, that internal thump that gets you......"high"
Honestly, it doesn't even matter if you don't care for the type of music played, eventually you will be caught up.
By the time we got back to the park I was caught up. I was right in the mix and loving every minute.
It took newbie a minute but he eventually got into it. Newbie might not be as straight laced as I originally thought...........:)
Of course being injured, drunk for much of the day and lets face it.....old, we did not stay through to the end. We caught most of Stones and a little of The Chili Peppers (I hate the chili peppers but like I said already caught up.....there was no stopping it).
All in all it was a fantastic day and evening.
I may have pneumonia and my leg my be permanently fucked up but I think I can work out the kinks today.
"that does not look right" OK, maybe I can work out the kinks today........yikes.
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