Today

Maureen, Todd, Eugene, Vivian, Furdonna, Diana, Joe, Frank, Camille, Christina, Chris..........and the countless others on floors 34 and 35, today I think of you.

13 years ago today we became a family bound by tragedy. As we all began our day in the peach palace little did we know the horror and pain that would play out from the usually glorious view of our office windows.
The memories of that morning always hurt, they always bring tears but I no longer fear them like I once did.
Those awful, awful memories have become a part of me. They have made me love deeper, forgive easier and to never, never take my life for granted.
I know that life can change in an instant. I know that your world can become unrecognizable in a second. I know that the sky can fall down.

Quest for jeans

I know, blue jean shopping.....it sucks.
It's almost as bad as bathing suit shopping.

Well ladies before you go off and start with the whole "men don't have these problems"
"guys will never understand what it's like to......"
I must stop you. I recently had a very eye opening experience.

You see my lovely biker man wears a 32/36.
Let me state that again, he wears a 32 waist and 36 length pant!

We went to more stores that I have ever been to to buy jeans even during the dreaded "my ass is how big!?!" days.
You know it's bad when the salesman at the big and tall shop says "wait, what size did you say!?!" Apparently this size is such a rarity that no one keeps it in stock. He had to revert to trying on jeans that he knows will be too short to "get the fit" then special order the correct waist/length size, if they even carry it.

And don't even get me started on shirts. Poor guy has to buy XXL in anything button down even though he wears an L or an XL. He then tailors it so its not a tent around him. If he buys a smaller size the shoulders are too narrow and the sleeves are too short. And I thought I had clothing problems.

I now understand why my 6ft5 biker has a sewing machine and knows how to use it......very well.

This is going on the invitations

So very, very beautiful

I am not the first person you loved. You are not the first person I looked at with a mouthful of forevers. We have both known loss like the sharp edges of a knife. We have both lived with lips more scar tissue than skin. Our love came unannounced in the middle of the night. Our love came when we’d given up on asking love to come. I think that has to be part of its miracle. This is how we heal. I will kiss you like forgiveness. You will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms will bandage and we will press promises between us like flowers in a book. I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat on your skin. I will write novels to the scar of your nose. I will write a dictionary of all the words I have used trying to describe the way it feels to have finally, finally found you. And I will not be afraid of your scars. I know sometimes it’s still hard to let me see you in all your cracked perfection, but please know: whether it’s the days you burn more brilliant than the sun or the nights you collapse into my lap your body broken into a thousand questions, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I will love you when you are a still day. I will love you when you are a hurricane. ~  Clementine von Radics, “Mouthful of Forever”