Maya Angelou

R.I.P. you amazing, inspirational, phenomenal woman.

Phenomenal Woman

BY MAYA ANGELOU

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size   

But when I start to tell them,

They think I’m telling lies.

I say,

It’s in the reach of my arms,

The span of my hips,   

The stride of my step,   

The curl of my lips.   

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,   

That’s me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,   

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.   

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.   

I say,

It’s the fire in my eyes,   

And the flash of my teeth,   

The swing in my waist,   

And the joy in my feet.   

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered   

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can’t touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them,   

They say they still can’t see.   

I say,

It’s in the arch of my back,   

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Now you understand

Just why my head’s not bowed.   

I don’t shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.   

When you see me passing,

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It’s in the click of my heels,   

The bend of my hair,   

the palm of my hand,   

The need for my care.   

’Cause I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Maya Angelou, “Phenomenal Woman” from And Still I Rise. Copyright © 1978 by Maya Angelou. Used by permission of Random House, Inc.

Be the panda

Fortune

Well that's specific..............................

Dog Tags

I do not know you.
I do not know where you lie.
Yet I see this small tin piece every day now.
This piece of metal that is your identity,
your history.

This small tin piece lays upon his chest daily.
He too does not know you.
The shared eyes of the father and son
never blessed to fall upon one another.

I lay silently in the dim light rubbing
the metal between my fingers as he stirs.
I press the cold to my lips.
I know that I hold his most prized possession.
I know I hold his pain and his pride
in this small tin piece.

Chicago Museum of Veterans Art

Excuse me, does my HMO cover that?

Ancient medical practices that need to make a come back............pelvic massage.


http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relationships/georgia-you-can-carry-gun-you-need-prescription-vibrator

In Georgia, You Can Carry a Gun, But You Need a Prescription for a Vibrator

Jessica Valenti

Why it's totally normal for women to want sex toys.

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May 20, 2014  |  

 

 

 

 

Giving out prescriptions for vibrators seems more like a doctor's bad pickup line than good public policy. But in Sandy Springs, Georgia, you really do need a medical reason – and a doctor's prescription – to buy a sex toy.

Melissa Davenport, a resident of Sandy Springs, has filed suit against the city because, as her lawyer Gerry Weber  told a local TV station, the ordinance allows the government to "stick its nose in your bedroom and say you can use this but not that." Davenport has multiple sclerosis, which she says has impacted her sex life with her husband, and she credits sex toys with saving her marriage. Yet her doctors still won't write her a prescription.

Leaving aside the bizarreness of the policy itself – people should be able to buy sex toys for the sheer fun of it – it seems ironic that a woman with a real medical condition is being denied sex toys, when you consider that the vibrator was actually  invented to cure a (fake) medical condition: hysteria.

In the 19th century, if a woman was feeling blue— or was just being "lady-crazy" — she could head off to the doctor's office for a little manual clitoral stimulation, though the doctors called it "pelvic massage." (It's a hilarious testament to the male-centric vision of sexuality of that time that, if there was no penetration, it wasn't considered sexually intimate.) But those poor male doctors and their cramping fingers couldn't quite take the amount of labor that was needed to achieve the mutually desired ends to said massage. One doctor  bemoaned that the technique was quite difficult, akin to "that game of boys in which they try to rub their stomachs with one hand and pat their heads with the other."

Thus, the vibrator was born – and women started going for check-ups a lot more often. But once men caught on to why certain doctors were in such high demand, however, the party was over – and now, in states like Alabama, you can openly carry a gun but not buy a butt plug.

Of course there are plenty of other reasons besides medical afflictions – real or imagined – that a woman might need a sex toy. Maybe she's bored. Maybe her partner likes them. (Maybe they're more fun than her partner.) Maybe it's Tuesday.

But given how many American men think women are still "hysterical" anyway – or at least that they can't run the world when  "Aunt Flo" is in town – we should revive and embrace this fake medical condition on behalf of women in towns like Sandy Springs where people's sexuality is still pathologized and legislated.

In fact, I think I'm feeling a little hysterical already. Where's my prescription?

Jessica Valenti is a daily columnist for the Guardian US. She is the author of four books on feminism, politics and culture, and founder of Feministing.com. 

Your ex is NOT crazy

I don't know if I'm more shocked that I clicked on a Cosmo ad or that I agree with something written in Cosmo......either way, a little stunned this morning.

As much as I hate to admit it #5 is a universal truth. There are two men in my life that can make my panties disintegrate with a glance. Unfortunately both of them smoke. I have been in "bowchickawowwow" situations with both and have not "taken advantage" why.....because as hot as they both are, they stink.

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/men-less-hot

30 Things That Instantly Make

Men Less Hot

ANNA BRESLAW

SEX ADVICE

FEBRUARY 20, 2014

1. Fedoras. Unless you are Justin Timberlake or the ghost of an old-timey newsman, get off my lawn.

2. Soul patches and/or goatees. Because nothing says, “Make out with me” like, “I grew some pubic hair riiiight where my lips are.”

3. Hand-kissing. I don’t mean “you are lying in bed and he kisses your hand because it’s there and whatever,” I mean “taking a Cyrano de Bergerac-y half-bow and bending to kiss your hand on the street.” Before you’re like “No man does this!” know that A MAN ONCE DID THIS TO ME. Clearly, his last girlfriend was an eighteenth century Cockney hooker. Coincidentally, often overlaps with #1 and #2.

4. Ed Hardy anything. Who is Ed Hardy and does he have a wife? Can we say that her name is Kathy Hardy and they have been estranged for the last 20 years because she woke up one morning and was sleeping next to the biggest douchebag in the universe?

5. Smoking. I smoke (I know) (I’m sorry) (I know), but everyone else says it’s totally gross when a guy smokes. OK!

6. Bandanas. No. Are you David Foster Wallace? You’re not.

7. An unhealthy obsession with ultimate frisbee. Stop talking about this to me.

8. Calling their friends “bro.” Or “dudebro,” or any variation thereof. I get it — you are male.

9. Being an awful tipper. Hear that noise? That is the sound of me zipping up my vagina.

10. And being rude to anyone in the retail/service industry.Haven't you ever been on a first date that's going really well until he yells at the waitress about his salad, and you're like, well, back to the drawing board?

11. Overly whiskered jeans. Ick.

12. Being the guy who brings the acoustic guitar to the party.Studies show that nine out of 10 men who bring an acoustic guitar to places where they shouldn’t only know how to play “Good Riddance” by Green Day.

13. Being proud of their farts. Again, ick.

14. Having had a very recent haircut. And looking like a large 6-year-old for a few weeks as a result.

15. Indecisiveness. PICK A RESTAURANT.

16. Bad grammar and/or spelling. Wrong "to/too"? Wrong "their/there"? Literally #no.

17. Not reading. I see all these twentysomething, well-dressed, cute boys on the train who aren't reading or even listening to music, just staring into space with their mouths slightly open. What is that? Don't they know that at the very least they could be reading Chuck Klosterman?

18. Being a doormat.

19. Smelling bad.

20. Being this guy:

21. Having no hobbies, or at the very least, interests.

22. Swearing a ton when it's unnecessary.

23. Wearing a Bluetooth thing everywhere you go.

24. Sexist jokes. Oh, the "make me a sandwich" line? You're really original.

25. Jerseys as daywear.

26. A ton of hair gel. Your hair should not have the consistency of piano wire.

27. Eminem-style bleach blond dye jobs. Ewwww.

28. Bad manners. Real men say "please" and "thank you" when appropriate.

29. Calling their ex "crazy." Because there's a pretty good chance he'll eventually wind up calling you crazy.

30. Calling women "bitches." Not just "Those are my bitches" in a fond way (although that's horrible too), but referring to any particular woman as a "bitch." Early on, it just leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

Related:
Here Are The Ugliest Things Men Wear 

Follow Anna on Twitter. 

Photo Credit: Universal/Everett

You probably can't swim

Just another PSA from your friendly neighborhood blogger.

It's almost summer people and that means pools and lakes and swimmin holes.

Although, I don't know where there would be a swimmin hole near me but............
well there is a crick and although shallow, I think that counts.

I was watching a story about drowning (uplifting,  I know) and they were saying that most
people do not have the ability to save themselves in the event of a water emergency.
In other words most people can't truly swim.
So the red cross has this new initiative to cut drowning in half.
This is a great idea.

It got me thinking about my childhood "swimming lessons"

My Father always wanted a pool, so when he found the lovely 3BR/2BA with Florida room and kidney shaped pool on the outskirts of Tampa, ecstatic was an understatement.

My mother being a bit over protective, decide we should know how to "not drown" and enrolled my brother and I in water survival courses at the Lake Magdalene YMCA.

Water survival courses are very different from swimming lessons.
It truly is a "how not to drown" lesson.
They don't teach you to swim, they teach to float, tread water, climb out of water without a ladder or stairs.....basic water survival.

It's terrifying.
No it really is, they throw you in the water when you least expect it, hold you under, IN THE DEEP END and basically "pretend" to drown you.
It's a fun filled Saturday afternoon for the kiddos.......NOT!

Mom could not figure out why my brother and I hated our swimming lessons.
It wasn't until Parent's Day that the horror of what was happening was revealed.

I know my Mom did not realize that we were basically being drowned every Saturday and
I'm sure many other Mothers had no idea.
She felt bad.....like really bad but you know what.....it was the right parenting move.

Sidebar - before everyone gets their panties in bunch over me using "Mother's" and not including Fathers.....this was the 70's. Mom's did all this stuff, Dad's were on the golf course. I know, the 70's was not that long ago yet we've come so very far. 

The lessons were scary, lots of kids, myself included, cried going and coming from that class.

That being said, I can tread water like a Navy seal, I've gotten myself out of three rip tides, one off the coast of Cancun.
Don't swim in Cancun......just don't, you'll drown.

 I have been left in the middle of Lake Lanier.
Yeah, I fell off the tube, no one paying attention, left in the middle of Lake Lanier.
Not ok guys, NOT OKAY.

But I knew how to rest and tread so I didn't panic or get too tired.
Which left enough energy to beat the crap out of Brett when he and the other idiots realized I was

A) not on the tube
B) no where to be found

I'm rambling again.....here's my point, there has already been a horrible drowning tragedy in my neighborhood and it's not even summer.

If you think you can swim, check yourself.
If you can't do these basic things, you could be in big trouble if it suddenly goes wrong.

http://www.redcross.org/news/press-release/Red-Cross-Launches-Campaign-to-Cut-Drowning-in-Half-in-50-Cities

These critical water safety skills, also known as “water competency,” are the ability to: 
step or jump into the water over your head; 
return to the surface and float or tread water for one minute; 
turn around in a full circle and find an exit; 
swim 25 yards to the exit; and exit from the water. 
If in a pool, you must be able to exit without using the ladder.

"It's comparable to Satan"

See........a'holes

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I love when science proves people are just a'holes :)


Researchers Who Provided Key Evidence For Gluten Sensitivity Have Now Thoroughly Shown That It Doesn't Exist

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/gluten-sensitivity-and-study-replication-2014-5#ixzz32IirL3zc


JENNIFER WELSH

In one of the best examples of science working, a researcher who provided key evidence of (non-celiac disease) gluten sensitivity recently published follow-up papers that show the opposite.

The first follow-up paper came out last year in the journal Gastroenterology. Here's the backstory that makes us cheer:

The study was a follow up on a 2011 experiment in the lab of Peter Gibson at Monash University. The scientifically sound — but small — study found that gluten-containing diets can cause gastrointestinal distress in people without celiac disease, a well-known autoimmune disorder triggered by gluten.

They called this non-celiac gluten sensitivity.

Gluten is a protein composite found in wheat, barley, and other grains. It gives bread its chewiness and is often used as a meat substitute. If you've ever had "wheat meat," seitan, or mock duck at a Thai restaurant, that's gluten.

Gluten is a big industry: 30% of people want to eat less gluten. Sales of gluten-free products are estimated to hit $15 billion by 2016.

Although experts estimate that only 1% of Americans — about 3 million people — suffer from celiac disease, 18% of adults now buy gluten-free foods.

Since gluten is a protein found in any normal diet, Gibson was unsatisfied with his finding. He wanted to find out why the gluten seemed to be causing this reaction and if there could be something else going on. He therefore went to a scientifically rigorous extreme for his next experiment, a level not usually expected in nutrition studies.

For a follow-up paper, 37 self-identified gluten-sensitive patients were tested. According to Real Clear Science's Newton Blog, here's how the experiment went:

Subjects would be provided with every single meal for the duration of the trial. Any and all potential dietary triggers for gastrointestinal symptoms would be removed, including lactose (from milk products), certain preservatives like benzoates, propionate, sulfites, and nitrites, and fermentable, poorly absorbed short-chain carbohydrates, also known asFODMAPs. And last, but not least, nine days worth of urine and fecal matter would be collected. With this new study, Gibson wasn't messing around.

The subjects cycled through high-gluten, low-gluten, and no-gluten (placebo) diets, without knowing which diet plan they were on at any given time. In the end, all of the treatment diets — even the placebo diet — caused pain, bloating, nausea, and gas to a similar degree. It didn't matter if the diet contained gluten. (Read more about the study.)

"In contrast to our first study … we could find absolutely no specific response to gluten," Gibson wrote in the paper. A third, larger study published this month has confirmed the findings.

It seems to be a "nocebo" effect — the self-diagnosed gluten sensitive patients expected to feel worse on the study diets, so they did. They were also likely more attentive to their intestinal distress, since they had to monitor it for the study.

On top of that, these other potential dietary triggers — specifically the FODMAPS – could be causing what people have wrongly interpreted as gluten sensitivity. FODMAPS are frequently found in the same foods as gluten. That still doesn't explain why people in the study negatively reacted to diets that were free of all dietary triggers.

You can go ahead and smell your bread and eat it too. Science. It works.

I have failed as a big sister

This morning while watching my regular talking heads something caught me attention.

Apparently some poor hippy band from the 70's is suing Led Zepplin for ripping
off "Stairway to Heaven"

That isn't what caught my attention but it's the lead up.....be patient.

One of the talking heads mentioned that she had never heard "Stairway to Heaven"

WHAAAAAT!?!

I sat for a moment staring at my television.
How is that possible?
How do you make it to a certain age without hearing "Stairway to Heaven"?
I'm sure I looked like a confused dog staring blankly at the TV

When I snapped out of it I sent a text to my baby brother.

"URGENT, do you know Stairway to Heaven?'

and waited.........................................................................................................

"hey T, did you mean to send this to me"

"Yes, do you know Stairway to Heaven?"

"What?"

"It's a song by Led Zepplin, do you know it?"

"I've heard of Led Zepplin, is that a band?"

OH......MY......GOD!!!!

I have failed to such a degree I have no idea how to redeem myself.
Seriously, my nineteen year old brother doesn't know that Led Zepplin is a band much
less the song "Stairway to Heaven"

I know I had a tear in my eye, I think I threw up in my mouth a little.

How do I even come back from this.
How can I correct this horrible mistake in the musical education of my youngest sibling.

WTH!!!!!

Alrighty then, no since crying about it.....we have got some serious work to do.

I'm too nice

I am
I'm polite and kind and I would never want to offend anyone
and so far it has gotten me.....................................NOWHERE!!!!

So about a month ago I turned over all dating decisions to my self proclaimed "I'm not nice" friend.

Guess what........it's working.

I haven't had this many dates since........well, since ever.

Seriously, I am inconsiderate, I never answer texts right away.......NEVER.
I play stupid, idiotic games...........and you men are eating out of the palm of my hand.

I have always suspected this. I would be dating a guy, things would be going great and suddenly I would be dumped and they would be in a serious relationship with a bitch, a victim, or some whinny daddy's girl. Point is they always end up with the exact woman they say they don't want.

Actually this realization started this winter. A former acquaintance of mine said "well you know how you have to play a man. Just give them what they want while actually taking what you need"

I was nodding stupidly but I honestly had no idea what she was talking about.
And this chick knows what she's talking about. She had men floating around her like moths to a flame.
Oh and before you ask........no, not that attractive, pretty average actually.

See I'm a face value person. When I say I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it so I expect the same in everyone I know. It always freaks me out when people say they are going to do something and they don't.
It truly freaks me out, I do not understand it.

So while this little experiment of mine has been hard, it's been eye opening,
but really, really hard.
It goes against every fiber of my being to ignore a text, phone call, email.....it's rude.
It kills me. I'll get a text from Dude #1 and look at her. She'll just shake her head and say
"You can answer it after 6pm tonight but not after 8pm......and if you miss the cut off tonight, do NOT text him first thing in the morning"
And God help the poor guy who keeps asking me out last minute, there is zero tolerance for that.

I suppose this little experiment does prove the point that men want a challenge, because seriously
nothing else has changed. I still look the same (actually I've gained a little weight), I still dress the same, the hair is still the same, I just demand more than I ever have in the past.

So ladies listen up, they may say they don't want to play games, they may say they don't want drama.......well I'm hear to tell you that so far, that's a bunch of lip service.

Ignore their calls, don't be available, let them come over to your house to move crap and cut the lawn.
I know, I know, it's exhausting and stupid but what are you going to do, sit home and watch Game of Thrones. Come on, you can watch that anytime.
It's stupid and annoying but my evenings and weekends have never been more jam packed and frankly.....I'm having fun.

As they say....hate the game fellas, not the playa ;)

This is why

I often speak of my New York family and last week we had to band together once again.

My former boss/father figure's partner of 34 years passed away.

It's funny when someone you love is in pain you just react, you don't think.
I immediately called.
Gene picked up the phone.
"Gene, it's T"
He let out a little cry, I was crying, he was crying, it was very emotional.
"Hello my darling"

It was not a long conversation but it was full of laughter and tears.
That often happens with old friends you love.
Gene convinced me not to fly up but I will be traveling later this summer to see him.

He talked about Roger and times we were all together,
and he talked about his wedding.
Gene and Roger were legally married 2 years ago.
I have known them for over 16 years.
They have been in a loving supportive "marriage" for over 34 years.

When people argue with me about the sanctity of marriage I often think of these amazing couples;
Gene and Roger, Todd and Steven, Amanda and Rachel, all in deeply committed, loving relationships that have lasted for years.
I have heard people bring up religion as a basis for denying the rights of gay and lesbian couples to marry.
This argument does not hold water and here's why.
A religious ceremony alone will not marry you in the eyes of the law. You cannot claim the legal benefits of marriage without a license issued from and validated by the state. That goes for anybody.

Go try, go stand up in front of a Priest and ask him to marry you. He will, and in the eyes of God and the church you will be married.
But not in the eyes of the state and that is where it counts.
So when everybody talks about "that's not what it says in the bible"
Well we are not talking about the bible are we, we are talking about marriage which is now regulated by the state not the church so therefore, you can't really argue that bible thing can you.

I argued with my Father years ago about this issue and this is what got him.

"Dad, lets just bend reality a little and say that your marriage to Trish is not recognized.
Lets also say that your sister and I are opposed to your lifestyle and your "marriage".
When you die, we contest your Will and because your "marriage" is not recognized
in a legal sense, we have a good shot of undoing everything you put together to protect and care
for your partner after your death"

Now, this argument made him sit up and listen.
This is what so many people miss, it's not about the right to have a frilly day filled with flowers and dry chicken, it's about the right to legally and financially protect and care for the one person in this world that you have chosen to spend your life with.
It's that simple.

When the cancer took over Rogers body, Gene had the legal right to care for him, to make the medical choices that Roger wanted. Because of that one piece of paper Gene was able to lovingly help his best friend, soul mate and husband of 35 years leave this world with dignity and love.

Isn't that what we all want, the right to care for each other when we are at our most vulnerable.
No one should be denied that.

Why CT scans are funny

They actually aren't but I use humor to cope with heavy stuff so get off my back.

Most of the time if you have a scheduled scan you go to a place where all
they do all day long is scan people.
I like to call these facilities "pokers r us" because that's what they do.

I know, I thought all that stuff was done in a hospital too but no.

So anyway, these places are a bit surreal.
I mean you have to remember most of the people here are facing some
pretty heavy sh*t so there is not a lot of smiling.

When you walk into the "waiting" room there are people drinking this oh so wonderful gelatinous liquid or sitting there with said gelatinous liquid shooting into them through an IV. There are nurses and techs running around checking on people and there is the ever present "Mr. Smith, you need to drink these last two glasses right away" call from "The Heavy" of the waiting room.

I like "The Heavy"
It's not that she's cruel she just has a certain "way" about her.
Things get done and they get done the right way......she makes sure of that.
What she lacks in bedside manner she makes up for in skill and knowledge.
You know that if someone suddenly keels over she will literally will the life back into them.
"you ain't gonna die on my watch motherfu*&er"

She's a bit cold, but it's strangely comforting to know she's there.

Once you choke down a gallon of gelatinous "sh*t" the heavy, or one of her minions directs you back to a changing stall.
It's very weird back here.
It's a clinical setting, everything is linoleum or stainless steel and it has that antiseptic smell, but the lighting
is a bit off.

In comparison to other clinic/hospitals.......it's downright dark.

They then shuffle you into an even darker room and put you on a movable table with a giant robotic machine hanging above it.
Yep.....this is officially terrifying.

I think this is where the alien prob story comes from. If I had more drugs in me, I could be convinced that this was an alien ship and I was about to be probed.
Who are we kidding....I AM about to be probed
It's kinda freaky.

And then the scan begins.
The table moves about, the crazy machine moves about and the Doctor (I think he's just a tech but I don't want to offend anybody) is staring at something out of my field of vision.

He suddenly stops and starts to focus on something.
The scary probe machine is not moving but it's making a strange zoom like noise
 "what!?" "what is it? what do you see?" "why did you stop?"
"is it bad?" "JESUS CHRIST MAN, SAY SOMETHING"
Of course this is all in my head and I am still lying quietly on the slab.

He then calls to a nurse or tech or minion to bring him something I have never heard of.
The minion puts a white cup with a bendy straw to my mouth and asks me to "drink this fast"
Now what I have not informed you is that this movable table is now in head down position.
In other words I am on my back, feet up head down and this joker wants me to drink some flavorless insanely carbonated drink while basically standing on my head.
The crap is coming out of my nose and I'm choking.
In a stern monotone voice, the Doctor/Tech says "no, no keep drinking, you've got to drink all of it, I need you to drink all of it"
Seriously, did everyone in this place miss bed side manner day at med school.

And just like that it's over.
"OK you can get changed. Your Doctor will call you with the results"

Wait, what.....so that's it.
Yes, dingbat that's it, get out.

No hug, no smoke, no nothing, just poke, poke, fizz, fizz and get the hell out.
Very unsatisfying.......and now we wait......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Why we should boycott boycotting

This is a great article and this is why I don't boycott.

Does that big box store with blue sign have a terrible wage and benefit system? 

YES

However, I know people who work there and I know that if the consumer numbers drop, my friends hours get cut. 

The big head honchos at said blue sign store don't get hurt by that, my friend and her children get hurt by that.

I understand the knee-jerk reaction to boycotting but it usually ends up hurting the most vulnerable in our society and does very little to stop the initial concern.

I get it, you want to help people, you want to help the planet but just think before you act. There are ways to make change without hurting the people and families who need those jobs the most.

And always remember, not everyone has the choice to "just get another job", that idea alone is a privilege. There are people out there who must work for a CEO who's ideas go against everything they believe in, but they have to feed their families, they have to keep a roof over their heads.  

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lynda-bekore/why-calls-for-boycotts-al_b_5302209.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false

Lynda Bekore Become a fan

Content Director, Tarkenton Companies

Why Calls for Boycotts Always Hurt The Wrong People

Posted: 05/12/2014 10:53 am EDT Updated: 05/12/2014 10:59 am EDT

The legendary Beverly Hills Hotel has seen a surge in cancellations of bookings and denouncements on social media, as Hollywood celebrities, moguls and others declare a boycott against the home of the famed Polo Lounge and its sister luxury hotel, the Bel Air, run by the Dorchester Collection.

The company is owned by the Sultan of Brunei, who recently announced that the country he rules would follow strict Sharia law regarding homosexuality and adultery, both punishable by death by stoning, as well as other crimes with harsh penalties. LGBT activists and advocates have called on Hollywood power-players, celebrities, moguls and the public to boycott the hotel, so as not to support the Sultan's repugnant announcement. Celebrities from Jay Leno to moguls like Richard Bransonhave organized protests or vowed not to solicit the hotels, and have called for public boycotts.

They're right to shout out about it. To Westerners, and even to many Muslims, the very strict interpretations of Sharia law such as stoning to death is abhorrent. If we've learned nothing else from the 6 million Jews murdered in the Holocaust, or the massacre of 1.5 million Armenians by the Turks, or the genocide of half a million Sudanese in Darfur, we've surely learned the fatal danger of remaining silent against something we find universally horrifying. And certainly as Americans and promulgators of democratic values and the basic tenets of free speech, you could even say we have a responsibility to speak up for those who cannot protest themselves.

Boycotting a hotel, however, is very different from protesting its owner. Who are you hurting when you cancel events, or urge your clients, your fans, or employees not to do business at the hotel? You're hurting the workers, who are American, not Brunei citizens, have no say in the laws of a foreign ruler, and are just trying to make a living. They are the most vulnerable to the strings that get pulled by those more powerful than they are, whether it's their boss, their company owners, or well-meaning activists who can effectively put them out of their jobs.

Understand, the Sultan of Brunei is worth in excess of 20 billion dollars. That's billion, with a "b." Whether the Beverly Hills Hotel or the Bel Air stay open or shut or lose a few million dollars is completely immaterial to him. But it is of vital, life-altering importance to its combined 1000+ employees, who stand to lose $8 million in lost wages, let alone their jobs.

More than 100 of its workers recently protested against the Beverly Hills City Council's resolution calling on the Sultan to sell the hotel. Their very livelihoods are at stake, and with a California unemployment rate of over 8%, most of them are not likely to bounce back. I'm not as worried about Jay Leno or Ellen DeGeneres being kicked out of their homes or not paying their medical bills.

Boycotts of mid-sized establishments like the Beverly Hills Hotel inevitably hurt the innocent, and it's a pretty safe bet that most of those 1,000 workers didn't even know who owned their hotel until last week, let alone what a Sultan of Brunei was. So why punish them?

The hundreds of housekeepers, cooks, bartenders, and valets just wanted jobs, and especially the tips that supplemented them. Taking away some hotel bookings from a man who thinks nothing of covering his Rolls Royce in 24 karat gold isn't going to hurt him, but it sure is going to hurt them, and many might not ever recover.

If the celebrities and activists really want to hurt the Sultan and not his American workers, they can do a lot better than placing a fatwah on a hotel that's run and managed thousands of miles away from its owner, by people who can't afford to miss a day's work for a rally.

Instead of boycotting an innocent hotel, why not send a message via your protests, not just to Brunei but to similar countries with excessive penalties for non-violent crimes? Use the power of your social media, write articles, appear on talk shows, and educate yourself and the rest of us about what's also going on places like Abu Dhabi or Dubai, so we can make informed decisions about where to plant our money.

These United Arab Emirate countries are the new playgrounds of many of these same celebrity protesters who profess horror at these countries' treatment of gays, but are home to quite a few expensive Hollywood productions, like Mission Impossible and Fast & Furious. Gays in the UAE face up to 10 years imprisonment among other punishments if "caught." Mention that to the Twitter followers of J-Lo, who gave a Dubai concert in March or Justin Timberlake, who will perform this very week in Abu Dhabi and May 23 in Dubai.

American hotel workers are not highly paid to begin with, and they deserve a lot better than a bunch of celebrity reactionaries preventing them from doing their jobs. The Sultan says he's not selling, and the City Council probably can't legally make him, since he hasn't broken any American laws. But if Virgin Group founder and billionaire Richard Branson, who vowed not to let any of his employees stay at a Dorchester hotel, wants to permanently hire away the current 1000+ Dorchester workers, then we've got an effective protest. Sir Richard, we await your reply.

John Taylor.........

I will heart your pasty, scrawny English a$$ until the end of time.

Its a great song

but........I don't think you can say BEATLES influence any louder.

Still an awesome song and I will continue to play it often........thank you BEATLES

Guys with fancy lady hair

I can think of at least a half a dozen guys that I am getting drunk and challenging to do this.........

http://www.thebolditalic.com/articles/3547-guys-with-fancy-lady-hair

Is it just me or is the dude modeling the "Brigitte Bardot" hotter with the fancy lady hair?
I'm a bit disturbed

How to get a bikini body.....

put a bikini on your body.............................oh right, fashion magazines are stupid

I have the greatest friends in the world.

My talented and oh so handsome friend DC is developing his fighting skills in..........Thailand!
He's already the Bahamian champ......so ambitious that one. ;)

He sent this today.

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