This is why

I often speak of my New York family and last week we had to band together once again.

My former boss/father figure's partner of 34 years passed away.

It's funny when someone you love is in pain you just react, you don't think.
I immediately called.
Gene picked up the phone.
"Gene, it's T"
He let out a little cry, I was crying, he was crying, it was very emotional.
"Hello my darling"

It was not a long conversation but it was full of laughter and tears.
That often happens with old friends you love.
Gene convinced me not to fly up but I will be traveling later this summer to see him.

He talked about Roger and times we were all together,
and he talked about his wedding.
Gene and Roger were legally married 2 years ago.
I have known them for over 16 years.
They have been in a loving supportive "marriage" for over 34 years.

When people argue with me about the sanctity of marriage I often think of these amazing couples;
Gene and Roger, Todd and Steven, Amanda and Rachel, all in deeply committed, loving relationships that have lasted for years.
I have heard people bring up religion as a basis for denying the rights of gay and lesbian couples to marry.
This argument does not hold water and here's why.
A religious ceremony alone will not marry you in the eyes of the law. You cannot claim the legal benefits of marriage without a license issued from and validated by the state. That goes for anybody.

Go try, go stand up in front of a Priest and ask him to marry you. He will, and in the eyes of God and the church you will be married.
But not in the eyes of the state and that is where it counts.
So when everybody talks about "that's not what it says in the bible"
Well we are not talking about the bible are we, we are talking about marriage which is now regulated by the state not the church so therefore, you can't really argue that bible thing can you.

I argued with my Father years ago about this issue and this is what got him.

"Dad, lets just bend reality a little and say that your marriage to Trish is not recognized.
Lets also say that your sister and I are opposed to your lifestyle and your "marriage".
When you die, we contest your Will and because your "marriage" is not recognized
in a legal sense, we have a good shot of undoing everything you put together to protect and care
for your partner after your death"

Now, this argument made him sit up and listen.
This is what so many people miss, it's not about the right to have a frilly day filled with flowers and dry chicken, it's about the right to legally and financially protect and care for the one person in this world that you have chosen to spend your life with.
It's that simple.

When the cancer took over Rogers body, Gene had the legal right to care for him, to make the medical choices that Roger wanted. Because of that one piece of paper Gene was able to lovingly help his best friend, soul mate and husband of 35 years leave this world with dignity and love.

Isn't that what we all want, the right to care for each other when we are at our most vulnerable.
No one should be denied that.