As much as I hate to admit it #5 is a universal truth. There are two men in my life that can make my panties disintegrate with a glance. Unfortunately both of them smoke. I have been in "bowchickawowwow" situations with both and have not "taken advantage" why.....because as hot as they both are, they stink.
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/men-less-hot
30 Things That Instantly Make
Men Less Hot
FEBRUARY 20, 2014
1. Fedoras. Unless you are Justin Timberlake or the ghost of an old-timey newsman, get off my lawn.
2. Soul patches and/or goatees. Because nothing says, “Make out with me” like, “I grew some pubic hair riiiight where my lips are.”
3. Hand-kissing. I don’t mean “you are lying in bed and he kisses your hand because it’s there and whatever,” I mean “taking a Cyrano de Bergerac-y half-bow and bending to kiss your hand on the street.” Before you’re like “No man does this!” know that A MAN ONCE DID THIS TO ME. Clearly, his last girlfriend was an eighteenth century Cockney hooker. Coincidentally, often overlaps with #1 and #2.
4. Ed Hardy anything. Who is Ed Hardy and does he have a wife? Can we say that her name is Kathy Hardy and they have been estranged for the last 20 years because she woke up one morning and was sleeping next to the biggest douchebag in the universe?
5. Smoking. I smoke (I know) (I’m sorry) (I know), but everyone else says it’s totally gross when a guy smokes. OK!
6. Bandanas. No. Are you David Foster Wallace? You’re not.
7. An unhealthy obsession with ultimate frisbee. Stop talking about this to me.
8. Calling their friends “bro.” Or “dudebro,” or any variation thereof. I get it — you are male.
9. Being an awful tipper. Hear that noise? That is the sound of me zipping up my vagina.
10. And being rude to anyone in the retail/service industry.Haven't you ever been on a first date that's going really well until he yells at the waitress about his salad, and you're like, well, back to the drawing board?
11. Overly whiskered jeans. Ick.
12. Being the guy who brings the acoustic guitar to the party.Studies show that nine out of 10 men who bring an acoustic guitar to places where they shouldn’t only know how to play “Good Riddance” by Green Day.
13. Being proud of their farts. Again, ick.
14. Having had a very recent haircut. And looking like a large 6-year-old for a few weeks as a result.
15. Indecisiveness. PICK A RESTAURANT.
16. Bad grammar and/or spelling. Wrong "to/too"? Wrong "their/there"? Literally #no.
17. Not reading. I see all these twentysomething, well-dressed, cute boys on the train who aren't reading or even listening to music, just staring into space with their mouths slightly open. What is that? Don't they know that at the very least they could be reading Chuck Klosterman?
18. Being a doormat.
19. Smelling bad.
20. Being this guy:
21. Having no hobbies, or at the very least, interests.
22. Swearing a ton when it's unnecessary.
23. Wearing a Bluetooth thing everywhere you go.
24. Sexist jokes. Oh, the "make me a sandwich" line? You're really original.
25. Jerseys as daywear.
26. A ton of hair gel. Your hair should not have the consistency of piano wire.
27. Eminem-style bleach blond dye jobs. Ewwww.
28. Bad manners. Real men say "please" and "thank you" when appropriate.
29. Calling their ex "crazy." Because there's a pretty good chance he'll eventually wind up calling you crazy.
30. Calling women "bitches." Not just "Those are my bitches" in a fond way (although that's horrible too), but referring to any particular woman as a "bitch." Early on, it just leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
Related:
Here Are The Ugliest Things Men Wear
Follow Anna on Twitter.
Photo Credit: Universal/Everett
2. Soul patches and/or goatees. Because nothing says, “Make out with me” like, “I grew some pubic hair riiiight where my lips are.”
3. Hand-kissing. I don’t mean “you are lying in bed and he kisses your hand because it’s there and whatever,” I mean “taking a Cyrano de Bergerac-y half-bow and bending to kiss your hand on the street.” Before you’re like “No man does this!” know that A MAN ONCE DID THIS TO ME. Clearly, his last girlfriend was an eighteenth century Cockney hooker. Coincidentally, often overlaps with #1 and #2.
4. Ed Hardy anything. Who is Ed Hardy and does he have a wife? Can we say that her name is Kathy Hardy and they have been estranged for the last 20 years because she woke up one morning and was sleeping next to the biggest douchebag in the universe?
5. Smoking. I smoke (I know) (I’m sorry) (I know), but everyone else says it’s totally gross when a guy smokes. OK!
6. Bandanas. No. Are you David Foster Wallace? You’re not.
7. An unhealthy obsession with ultimate frisbee. Stop talking about this to me.
8. Calling their friends “bro.” Or “dudebro,” or any variation thereof. I get it — you are male.
9. Being an awful tipper. Hear that noise? That is the sound of me zipping up my vagina.
10. And being rude to anyone in the retail/service industry.Haven't you ever been on a first date that's going really well until he yells at the waitress about his salad, and you're like, well, back to the drawing board?
11. Overly whiskered jeans. Ick.
12. Being the guy who brings the acoustic guitar to the party.Studies show that nine out of 10 men who bring an acoustic guitar to places where they shouldn’t only know how to play “Good Riddance” by Green Day.
13. Being proud of their farts. Again, ick.
14. Having had a very recent haircut. And looking like a large 6-year-old for a few weeks as a result.
15. Indecisiveness. PICK A RESTAURANT.
16. Bad grammar and/or spelling. Wrong "to/too"? Wrong "their/there"? Literally #no.
17. Not reading. I see all these twentysomething, well-dressed, cute boys on the train who aren't reading or even listening to music, just staring into space with their mouths slightly open. What is that? Don't they know that at the very least they could be reading Chuck Klosterman?
18. Being a doormat.
19. Smelling bad.
20. Being this guy:
21. Having no hobbies, or at the very least, interests.
22. Swearing a ton when it's unnecessary.
23. Wearing a Bluetooth thing everywhere you go.
24. Sexist jokes. Oh, the "make me a sandwich" line? You're really original.
25. Jerseys as daywear.
26. A ton of hair gel. Your hair should not have the consistency of piano wire.
27. Eminem-style bleach blond dye jobs. Ewwww.
28. Bad manners. Real men say "please" and "thank you" when appropriate.
29. Calling their ex "crazy." Because there's a pretty good chance he'll eventually wind up calling you crazy.
30. Calling women "bitches." Not just "Those are my bitches" in a fond way (although that's horrible too), but referring to any particular woman as a "bitch." Early on, it just leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
Related:
Here Are The Ugliest Things Men Wear
Follow Anna on Twitter.
Photo Credit: Universal/Everett
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