JEJU

There is a magical place among the strip-malls of Pleasant Hill Road and it is called JEJU

www.jejusauna.net


It's modeled after a traditional Korean bathing house. Admission is $25.00. For this you get a very stylish unisex uniform (those crazy Koreans), a wrist band so you don't get lost, access to the hot, warm and cold saunas, steam room, dry sauna, healing rooms and a salt water swimming pool. That's right $25.00. Oh and it's open 24 hours a day!!! They even have a sleeping room if you want to spend the night!

There are a few things to keep in mind before you go......the non-coed areas are nude. Buck ass nekkid is more like it. If you have a problem with your nudity or someones else's, you will not be comfortable here. If however you are fine with having little old Korean women beat on you and wash your hair while laying next to 20 other naked women (or men, never been to that side but I imagine its very similar) getting the same treatment..........welcome to nirvana.

If you want said little old Koreans to beat you into submission, you have to pay extra but it's soooo worth it.

Now, when you enter the naked zone you will have a brief moment of panic. Everything is fine, this is normal, no one is staring and everyone else is just as naked and out of shape as you are.

I feel the need to pause here and explain some things to my international friends. Americans have a really hard time with just plain old nudity. We talk a good game about boobs and sex and we are currently obsessed with Jon Hamms package, but when it comes to a simple naked body, we are the six year olds of the world. We can't handle it, its naughty and wrong and if you are not going to f$*k it or use it to sell some product, it should just be covered up.

Now that you have gotten over the brief moment of panic you will notice several hot tubs, an infrared light area and doors (these are the steam rooms). To your right you will see several elevated slabs with naked people laying on them, this is the treatment area. No it's not like that fancy Buckhead spa, there are no private rooms with plinky plunky music and a water feature in the corner. This place is bright and loud and there are no fluffy towels or big enveloping bath robes and.......it doesn't matter one bit. The result is still you drooling and not remembering one damn thing :). Once you have decided on the treatment (I recommend the body scrub and massage combo) you put the number on your wrist band on a bulletin board and go sit in a hot tub or sauna, whatever floats your boat. Oh, pay attention.....one of the hot tubs is actually an ice bath. It will say cold above it in really tiny letters but you will miss this sign, trust me. At some point you will hear the number on your wrist band called. A woman will point to a vacant elevated slab, go lie down on it, face down.

You will begin hearing words that you do not understand, unless you speak Korean. Suddenly warm water will be thrown, yes thrown, onto you from, I suspect, a bucket. It feels AMAZING!!!! You will then have your skin scrubbed off. Although this sounds painful and there are some spots that smart a little, it too feels amazing. You are then soaped up and more buckets of warm water are thrown at you. You are then flipped over, soaped up some more, more buckets and then........SHE WASHES YOUR HAIR! I think I had some lotion type substance put on my after this but I was gone. When I was finally told to get off the slab, I honestly don't think I knew my own name. "You go now!"

To be bathed as an adult is luxurious. There is something within us that responds to this act. Maybe it is that distant memory that we have long ago forgotten, or maybe it is just the energy that is passed when one human touches another. I don't know, but I know that I have not felt this calm or clear headed in a very long time.

Oh and they have a Korean restaurant. You can get Bimbop, cause it's fun to say "I'll have the bimbop please" or just have something to drink between drool sessions. It's an amazing place and I highly recommend it if you are in the area.