No honey, it wasn't you

Countless men try to keep their wives and girlfriends away from televisions and newspapers today in an attempt to lay claim to the "earthshaking" events that occurred Valentine's night.

A 4.1 earthquake hit the Georgia/South Carolina border at approximately 10:20pm February 14, 2014. (WSB)
Men throughout the region could be heard with statements of "that's right", "I'm the man" and the ever tasteless "who's your Daddy?"

As the light of day broke most men realized that it was, in fact, as actual earthquake and not their male prowess.
Men throughout Georgia and South Carolina are scrambling this morning to keep this information from reaching their beloveds ear.
Many men have taken to breakfast in bed, doing the laundry and the always welcome "I'll take the kids" in an attempt to increase the statistic of 2.3 events of coitus (N.I.P.P.) that are known to follow a successful Valentine's evening.

Best of luck fellows.







1. WSB TV, February 15, 2014, Atlanta, Georgia

2. National Institute of Pirata Poppycock, (N.I.P.P), February 14, 2014, unknown
http://elpinchepirata.blogspot.com/2014/02/st-valentines-day-post.html